1 Peter 3:8-22

When in Rome, right? When in Rome, do as the Romans do? When we’re with people who do things a certain way, try to fit in, try to do what they do, try not to stick out as much possible. It only creates trouble to be different. Society runs more smoothly, things just work better, when we’re all driving at the same speed and we’re all using the same language and we all do the same things.

For example, when we speak with each other, there’s a rhythm. How are you? I’m fine. How are you? I’m fine. How are the kids? Fine. How are your’s? Fine. And so it goes, a back and forth flow that keeps a conversation moving and upbeat and friendly. When we follow the pattern, the we get along.

But when the pattern is broken, then, when in Rome…When someone breaks the rules and instead of having a polite conversation, suddenly, they insult us. "How are you? I’m fine. How are you? Fine, but your hair doesn’t look so fine. And you don’t smell so fine." They broke the rules and they cut you down. So, then we do the same thing. "My hair is a mess, and I smell? Well, your family is falling apart and nobody likes you. How do you like that?" We’re just acting the way we’re supposed to, following the rules, being like everyone else. What they do, we do. How they talk, we talk. What they give, we give. What they take, we take…An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

Oh, oh. Jesus said something about that rule, didn’t He? In Matthew 5:38:

Not doing whatever the other person does. Not being the same. Not fitting in. That’s the life of a Christian. It’s a life of doing the opposite. When in Rome, do as Jesus does. Verse 1:

Which at first sounds like the same thing. Get along, live in harmony with one another, don’t buck the system, don’t go against the flow.But living in harmony with one another does not come naturally, especially when people are not living in harmony with us. When we’re attacked, we attack back. It’s only natural.

And for believers, people saved by the death and resurrection of Jesus, it’s not natural. We don’t follow the rules. Instead of cutting someone down, we are sympathetic. Instead of looking out for our own needs, we love each other as brothers, like family. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. Instead of feeling pretty good about ourselves in comparison to someone else, we are compassionate, we are humble, we see ourselves as standing right next to the person who is struggling.

And when we are attacked, we don’t return the attack. When someone speaks of us, we keep our mouths shut. We don’t fight fire with fire. We don’t follow the rules. We break the rules. Verse 9:

Which sounds nice when we read it out of 1 Peter 3 here, but absolutely goes against our nature when someone slices us with words, or even with just a look. The insult is thrown at us, and everything in us is screaming to throw one right back. And usually, we have a pretty good arsenal of ammunition to throw back. We have enough dirt on the person to really inflict harm.

But instead, we don’t obey the rules. We don’t do as they have done. Instead of giving back evil, instead of returning insult, we give back blessing. Now, we want to be careful here. Some of us have gotten pretty good at giving what looks like a blessing. We can say the nice words and we can put the smile on our face and seem very sincere as we do it. But we’re not really intending for that person to receive a blessing at all. We don’t want them to be blessed, we want them to be hurt. We just don’t want to get caught hurting them back.

No, the blessing we hand out needs to be the real thing. Genuinely, sincerely wanting the person to be okay and filled, even after they handed us a truckload of hurt. We actually want God’s goodness to be shown to them, because:

Of course, if we’re just keeping our smile on our face, forcing ourselves to be nice, in order to get our blessing, we’ll get a blessing, all right. And the blessing we receive will be as meaningful and satisfying as the blessing we handed out. In order to receive a real, true blessing, we have to really, truly giving out a blessing. Verse 10:

Which is usually a safe way to live. Usually, this won’t backfire and make things worse. Verse 13:

And yet, there might be, there probably will be, some who take advantage of this. If we don’t respond to evil with evil, if we turn the other cheek, sometimes, this just makes people even more mad. When we respond with compassion to someone who is taking advantage of us, maybe they take us for a ride even more. Compassion is mistaken for weakness. Evil is returned for good.

But, verse 14:

Anger, attack, nastiness usually comes from fear of some kind. Fear of being compared to someone else, fear of not getting as much as the next guy, fear of themselves being criticized.

But we don’t have to be afraid of that. We’ve been called to inherit a blessing. We’re the people who have been saved by God. We have nothing to prove, considering that God sees us as His perfect children, because of Jesus Christ.

So, verse 15:

Whoever or whatever we follow, whoever or whatever determines how we act and how we talk, that’s our lord. If it’s the actions of other people, the words they speak, that determine how we act and how we talk, then those other people are our lords. They get us to do things.

But they don’t get to decide, do they? Because Christ is our Lord. Christ gets to decide what words we speak back, how we treat other people. Christ moves us to show compassion, even when slicing words have been spoken. Christ directs us to give back good actions, good words, even when evil words have been spoken.

And when Christ is our Lord, when Jesus is in charge, when we’re not following the rules, when we’re in the world, not doing as the world does, people notice. It doesn’t make sense to them. You’re not acting like they would act. It’s actually a little unsettling, a little unnerving, when people don’t follow the rules. And at some point, someone might ask you. "Why are you letting that person get away with it? Why are you still talking nice to that person when they have nothing at all nice to say about you?" When we’re acting different enough from the world, when Jesus is Lord enough of our lives, people will ask.

So, be ready. Verse 16:

Going against the rules, replacing evil with good, anger with compassion, this is one of the most effective tools we have to be a witness. Arguing and debating, that’s what the world does when they want to convince us of something. How many debates haven’t we seen as we get closer to the election? How many demonstrations don’t we see on TV, about everything from global warming to free trade to the war? If we join in, if we follow those rules of engagement, we become just another voice in a crowd, a little group to be ignored.

But if we show kindness, if we show compassion, if we hand out goodness, especially in the most evil, hurtful places, that gets noticed. And when we act compassionately, giving our reason, explaining that Jesus is our Lord, and we do things His way, now we’re sending a message that’s hard to ignore.

We do this gently, respectfully, verse 16:

If we keep our voices calm, if we keep our actions pure, if we keep our motives holy, if we keep our deeds compassionate, if we keep our purpose one of love, they can complain all they want, but they’ll just be embarrassed doing it. To cut on people who gently show love and compassion, that just back fires.

Now, it’s tough when people get in our face. It takes self control. But our Lord, the one Who directs us, He went through that Himself, and He gives the power to be loving in the face of terrible suffering. Verse 18:

And if He went through it, He’ll bring us through it. He went through the words of mockery, He’ll bring us through, too. He went through, and goes through, people walking away from Him, people who used to be His friends. People called Him crazy, even His own family.

And if He went through that, He’ll bring us through, too. Peter points to Noah and the ark to show how Jesus brings us through. Peter explains that Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity, through the Spirit, preached to the people in the time of Noah, the people who couldn’t care less about God, who did evil all the time. And most of them turned away.

But a few, eight people, listened. And Christ, like an ark, saved them from destruction. And just like those eight people, Noah and his family, Christ is saving you, too, no matter who tells you different.

It’s like He brings you out of the water of destruction, and, verse 21:

So, while we may suffer for doing good, we’re brought through and made pure, by the resurrection of Jesus. When we’re not playing by the rules, doing what is done to us, and while that might not go over so good, we’re still okay. Because Jesus brings us through. Jesus, verse 22:

And that’s enough. Jesus, with all the world in submission to Him, that’s enough to keep us hoping, it’s enough to keep us restrained, He’s enough to keep us showing compassion and love and holiness, breaking the rules, returning good, even in the face of evil and hurt.